The first time I purged was at my grandfather’s 75th birthday party. All of the party guests were on the back porch or on the lawn under the white tent. The house was empty. I skipped by two up the steps into my parent’s master bathroom. I’ll never forget that day because it was the first time I self-induced vomiting, but also because the purging behavior became the hardest one to stop.
Purging was my secret. There was actually something seductive about it. The ritual. Binge in secret. Purge the food. No evidence that anything happened, however my body filled with calmness to wash away my anxiety.
Bulimia Nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by binge-eating followed by purging. Purging can be forced vomiting, excessive exercise or taking diuretics and laxatives. Binge eating is characterized by eating an abnormal amount of food on one sitting. For some, they eat normal-sized or small-sized meals and purge too.
For some the goal is to eliminate calories and to maintain their weight. For others it is to manage their emotions. For some they cannot tolerate the feeling of fullness. The purging is a release and a self-destructive way to relax and distract.
I was quite secretive about my behaviors. Here are some ways family members or friends can recognize purging in their loved ones because it is so important to get help.
Pay attention to meal habits- If someone is binging and purging, they will often eat a large amount of calories in one sitting (bingeing) before they induce vomiting. For some they will binge in secret in their car or bedroom. Watch for empty wrappers and receipts. Notice if large amount of foods disappear from the cabinets.
Pay attention to after meal habits- If someone is binging and purging, they will often excuse themselves from the table before anyone else. They will also go to purge if they feel that they have eaten too much or eaten the wrong foods. This often means they will go to the restroom after meals and snacks. They also may put on the shower or faucet to deflect the noise. Pay attention to multiple flushes and a long amount of time in there.
Pay attention to their face– Often those who purge will have swollen jaws or cheeks, often referred to as “chipmunk cheeks.” Due to straining while vomiting, some may have red, swollen eyes or burst blood vessels in their eyes.
Pay attention to their hands- Often those that purge will have red marks, cuts or scars of their hands and fingers due to the stomach acid damaging their skin and from their hands hitting their teeth as they vomit.
Look at their mouth. Some who induce vomit will have dry, cracked lips, and often need to use lip cream. Some will experience bleeding gums or discolored teeth. A dentist may notice swollen glands or eroded enamel on their teeth.
Pay attention to their mood- Eating disorders are often co-occurring with depression and anxiety. Notice if your loved one seems sad, hopeless, isolated, worried, irritated or jumpy.
Pay attention to how they smell. Notice if a loved one smells like vomit. It is a hard smell to mask so often they will try to cover it up with soaps, lotions and air fresheners.
Watch for fluctuations in weight. While those who purge may be doing it to eliminate calories, research has shown us that purging is not effective. People who purge may be under weight, normal weight or over weight. It is common for those who purge to have fluctuations in their weight. PLEASE NOTE: You cannot tell if someone has an eating disorder by their weight, size or shape!
Communicate! If you are concerned please go to your loved on and let them know your concerns. Communicate that you are here to support them and have no judgements. Help them to find and go to a medical doctor or a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.
Serenity Always,
Meredith
Photo cred: @moreloveorg⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
