I truly believe that people mean well. The majority of people are not educated in the world of eating disorders, so they do not know what to say to someone with an eating disorder. If a loved one does have an eating disorder I encourage you to educate yourself through getting psycho-education from those who are well-versed in eating disorders, reading books, taking seminars and asking questions.
Here is a quick “cheat sheet” that highlights what NOT to say and what TO say to someone with an eating disorder:
WHAT NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WITH AN EATING DISORDER:
- You look so healthy.
- You look so much better.
- Why don’t you just eat?
- I wish I could have an eating disorder. I’m jealous.
- Why is it taking you so long to recover?
- Maybe you had enough.
- I’m surprised you are eating that.
- Just stop bingeing and purging. Have more willpower.
- Your weight is making people feel uncomfortable.
What to say instead:
- How can I/we help?
- It looks like you are struggling right now. How can I support you?
- I’m here for you if you want to talk.
- Please show yourself self-compassion during this journey.
- Would you like help navigating resources?
- I love you unconditionally
In a nutshell, please avoid conversations around body, weight and shape. Please do not be the food police and/or comment about food choices, portions or calories. Support and encourage them by being able to listen, letting them know you are there and compliment on non-appearance related areas.
Full recovery is possible.
Serenity Always,
Meredith
Photo cred: @alyserurianidesign
