It can be uncomfortable to share when you are struggling, especially when you are a therapist, however this blog is about real life and real recovery from eating disorders. Real recovery is messy. Over the past few months I have regressed. I have been restricting as a maladaptive way to deal with my emotions of sadness and anxiety. I made an impulsive decision to give the new puppy I bought to her dog trainer because my schedule was inhibiting me to train her adequately. I am saturated with loss. My boyfriend and I moved in together in November and while our relationship is going well, we are going through some growing pains and recent disagreements. I started restricting at age 12, so it is understandable that I gravitate back to it in times of vulnerability. Restriction has some immediate short term benefits- in my case it is a distraction from my feelings, numbs me from my emotions and calms me down. However long term restriction backfires- it increases eating disorder behaviors, it generates more obsession with my body, weight and shape and ultimately increases depression and isolation. So what do I do? • I tell on myself to a friend for accountability. • I call my therapist and attend weekly sessions for support. • I write as a healthy way to process my feelings. • I visit my psychiatrist to review my medications. • I focus on exposure therapy to increase my food intake. • I identify areas of gratitude and create a daily list. • I connect with others in my support system instead of disconnecting. • I pinpoint positive reasons to nourish my body and brain. • I fight like hell! Recovery is messy. Recovery is possible. It takes so much strength to reach out for support. Keep fighting. How can you nourish your body and brain today? Serenity Always, Meredith
