3 ways to thrive during holidays when you have an eating disorder
Didn’t the holidays show up quickly this year? It was Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and now the December holiday season has arrived. Recovery from an eating disorder is hard work and for some it is even more challenging during the holiday season due to increased stress, busier schedules, more responsibilities, and extra holiday parties and events with friends and family.
As you may know I am fully recovered from Anorexia and Bulimia after suffering for more than twenty-five years. I am a licensed clinical social worker and a Carolyn Costin Eating Disorder certified coach. Holidays were often more difficult for me, and these tips may be helpful. Here are three ways to thrive during the holidays in eating disorder recovery.
PRACTICE CONSCIOUS EATING
Carolyn Costin, a renowned clinician, author, and speaker acclaimed for her expertise, passion, and accomplishments in the eating disorder field highlights 10 guiding principles to use in eating disorder treatment, called conscious eating. They are essential ingredients (no pun intended!) to help heal your relationship with food when the one you have is toxic, self-destructive, or unbalanced. Simply put, if we do not heal our relationship with food, then recovery is impossible. The guidelines that particularly stand out for me are:
- Be conscious of your hunger. Eat when moderately hungry – don’t wait until you are famished.
- Eat regularly and do not skip meals (eating at least every four hours).
- Allow yourself to eat all foods – unless you are allergic or have a serious health issue.
- Eat what you want – being conscious of how foods make you feel and considering your own personal health issues
Eat first thing in the morning and be conscious and aware of your hunger throughout the day. Do not listen to external rules, but instead attune to your body. When you are hungry, eat!
Eat every three to four hours. This guideline helps you to make rough estimates of times to prioritize your meals and snack. Remember, to recover you need to eat so please stop everything, sit down, and eat.
Give yourself unconditional permission to eat all food. It will be a game changer!
Lastly attune to your body to identify what you want to eat. Do not have a salad when you are craving a hot cup of soup. Ask yourself- Do I want something hot? Cold? Salty? Sweet?
IDENITFY WHAT YOU ARE RECOVERING TO
Recovery is fueled with ambivalence. I write in my book, Opening the Door: My Journey Through Anorexia to Full Recovery, that “Anorexia brings me down, controls me, suffocates me, consumes me. It zaps away any small piece of joy, or happiness, or sense of worth. I have these rare occasions where I think There must be more. I want more. I deserve more. I have a brief surge of energy to conquer this disease and think that my whole life is going to change for the better and then seconds later I feel fat and disgusting and the anxiety within me is nearly impossible to tolerate.”
Since there is so much back and forth with recovering, having a distinct focus on what you are recovering to is vital. Maybe you want to go to your high school prom? Maybe you want to take a trip to Greece with your family? Maybe you want to wake up with a sense of peace? Maybe you want to be able to eat a cookie without the world falling apart?
For me it was recovering to be the best aunt to my four beautiful nephews. Now write it down! Look at it multiple times a day. Perhaps create a vision board. Each day as your eyes open, take a deep breathe and repeat out loud what you are working towards.
GARNER SUPPORT
We do not recover alone- we do it together. It is vital that you reach out and utilize your support systems during this time. Just because it a busy time of year does not make it ok to not show up for therapy sessions. Regular and consistent support is key, so prioritize your therapy appointments. Do not put anything in front of them. You may need extra help during the holidays, so make sure to ask! Asking to get our needs met is a crucial part of recovery.
Group support is an amazing healing environment. Look for in-person or virtual support groups in your area. Some outpatient private practices offer specific groups focusing on support during the holiday season. Follow body positive Instagram account or Facebook accounts. A few good Instagram accounts are @bodyimagepositive, @raganchastain, @bodyimagewi8th bri, ed_recovered, and my recovery site: ed_recovery_mo. Also an amazing TED talk by Kristie Amadio talks about support and eating disorders.
Reach out to a person instead of your eating disorder. For so long the eating disorder self becomes a default button. You may have a thought to restrict and then you skip a meal. Instead, once you notice an eating disorder thought, pause, and then text or call a support person. You can tell them about your urges or just distract yourself by checking in with them.
Here’s to thriving this season!
Serenity Always,
Meredith
