S-T-O-P
I had most of the characteristics that fall into the “high risk” personality of those who suffer from eating disorders. I was anxious, perfectionistic, obsessive, a people pleaser, critical of myself, sought approval, avoided conflict, was a high achiever and impulsive. I also had pressure from my lacrosse coach to get faster and faster on the field. As an Irish Step Dancer, I had pressure to lose weight so I could be a more graceful dancer. My Dad was always on diets, and I was quite enmeshed with my mother. Put this altogether with the eating disorder gene, I was doomed.
Most of you know my story. I suffered from anorexia for most of my life and now I am fully recovered. Hallelujah! Full recovery is possible. One of the strategies that I use daily in my recovery are the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) distress tolerance crisis survival skills. They are used when you are in a distressing situation and you do not want to make the situation worse. I often got myself into trouble with my impulsiveness. I felt like I “had” to purge or restrict. I felt that my life would end if I was not able to finish an assignment on time or answer a text from someone immediately. I sometimes made the situation worse and then my anxiety would be even higher.
The STOP skill is a favorite. It allows me to pause, settle and breathe before I make an emotional or ineffective decision, and hopefully helps me to make a more mindful and effective one. Here are the steps to follow:
S- STOP- Literally freeze like you are playing freeze tag. Do not move a muscle. Do not act on your emotions.
T- Take a step back – Take a deep breath. Literally take a step back from the situation. Get your bearings. Again, do not act on your emotions.
O- Observe – Notice what you are feelings and thinking without judgment. Notice what others are doing and saying without judgment. It helps me to visualize watching my life through a camera lense.
P- Proceed mindfully – Think about how certain behaviors may make the situation worse. Identify your goals and act effectively to meet those goals. If my goal is to eliminate eating disorder behaviors and I have a strong urge to binge, I reach out to a support person or engage in a distracting activity. The STOP skill paves the path for me to be more effective.
As a fully recovered person from anorexia, a licensed therapist who treats those with eating disorders, a comprehensively trained DBT practitioner and a Carolyn Costin certified eating disorder coach I am here to support you. Please follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, twitter and Linked In.
Serenity Always,
Meredith
