4 Ways to Maintain Eating Disorder Recovery During the Holiday Season
1.Focus on what you are recovering to
Eating disorder recovery does not take a holiday break or a vacation, so identifying what you are recovering to is a helpful way to maintain recovery. We know what you are recovering from- eating disorder behaviors, urges and thoughts, but really take a moment to distinguish what you are recovering to.
For me, it was my nephews. I had a dream to be the best aunt I could possibly be, and I knew that staying in my anorexia would severely limit the role I played in their lives. Carolyn Costin writes about finding meaning and passion in Key 8 of her book, 8 Keys to Recovery from and Eating Disorder Workbook. Creating an identity away from your eating disorder helps to strengthen your healthy self and to motivate you to stay on the path to recovery.
Perhaps your eating disorder has made your life small and you are recovering to spend time with friends. Perhaps you have taken a pause from academic or professional endeavors, and you are recovering to return to school or a job. Maybe you have become isolated and you are recovering to attend a holiday meal or activity.
I suggest that each day you write down one thing that you are recovering to, so you remain focused on recovery. I also suggest you create a vision board of what you are recovering to and look at it each day.
2.Lean into your support system
Your treatment team is there for you. We know that the holiday season can get hectic. We understand that shopping, wrapping gifts, attending holiday parties, hosting get-togethers, traveling and spending more time than normal with family can be stressful.
Reaching out to people instead of your eating disorder is Step 7 in Carolyn Costin’s 8 keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder workbook. Connection with others is hard-wired into human beings- it is an essential part of recovery. The more we disconnect, the more we may search to substitute that need through eating disorder behaviors or other unhealthy ways.
First, identify if you are reaching out to your treatment team and support system. If not, take some time to identify when reaching out may help, such as before engaging in an eating disorder behavior, to maintain accountability and when something goes well to receive some validation.
Secondly, identify what are the obstacles of reaching out for support. For some of my clients they often report that they feel like a burden to others, feel like they need to handle things on their own and sometimes do not want to be stopped in their behaviors. Next, take each obstacle and come up with a counterargument. An example of a counterargument for when you feel like a burden is “I deserve to get help and my support system wants to help me.”
Lastly, reach out! Ask your treatment team how you can contact them in between sessions-by email, text, or phone. Use apps like Recovery Record or Recover and Rise. Find a mentor or certified coach to help support you with the day-to-day struggles of recovery. Reach out to family and friends to support you in tough times or to distract you.
3.Plan meal support exposure
Use this month as an opportunity to keep up with your meal or snack exposures. Exposure is difficult, but typically the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Avoidance of fear foods may help temporarily, but in the long term it is not a positive coping strategy. The more we avoid a particular food, the stronger the negative association is linked. After I completed PHP level of care, I had lunch with a friend each week at a new restaurant to maintain my exposure, to try new environments, and to increase the variety of foods I was eating.
Start by making a list of your fear foods with someone on your treatment team and then put them in hierarchical order from the least amount of fear to the most. For some, using the colors red, yellow, and green is a helpful way to organize the list (Red= extremely challenging; Yellow=challenging; Green= somewhat challenging).
Next, pick a food on your green list and complete a dialogue between your healthy self and eating disorder self. If your eating disorder is telling you “Eating a pretzel is too many calories” then challenge it from your healthy self, such as “Too many calories, according to who?” or “Recovery is uncomfortable.”
Next, create concrete meal or snack exposures with someone on your treatment team, family, or friend. If muffins are a fear food, meet a friend out at a coffee house and share one together. If pizza is scary, plan a meal support session with your therapist or Certified Eating Disorder Coach. Please make sure to identify a list of positive coping strategies to use during the exposure such as making light conversation, listening to soothing music, or using therapeutic putty to reduce anxiety.
In my practice we offer monthly meal support exposure groups. Look around your neighborhood and online to see what resources are available to you.
4.Journal
Journaling is a tool that helps to get our thoughts and feelings out onto paper. It is a crucial part of eating disorder recovery. There are multiple benefits from journaling, such as lowering stress levels, improving your mood, boosting your memory and comprehension, and increasing your immune function. Journaling also reduces depression and can decrease intrusive thoughts and avoidance behaviors after a trauma.
In my practice I give my clients journal prompts to gain insight into their thoughts and feelings around their relationship with food and into other relationships they have. Journaling can help lead you to the path of self-discovery. Since a major component in eating disorder recovery is to strengthen your healthy self, journaling is an opportunity to tune into your soul self and explore your dreams, passions, and goals.
Some journal prompts to use:
- Describe a day in your life when you are fully recovered.
- What are your top 10 food rules?
- I want to recover from my eating disorder, but…
- Why is it so hard to reach out for support?
There are many ways to journal:
- Journaling for better sleep
- Journaling when you have overwhelming emotions
- Journaling when you have an eating disorder thought or urge
- Journaling what you are grateful and thankful for
- Journaling goals
- Journaling to solve problems/help make effective decisions
Don’t know where to start? Go to your nearest dollar store, purchase a notebook or journal, sit down, and start by writing one thing. There are no right or wrong things to write- use it as an exercise of free association and write down anything that comes to mind. Still stuck? Try drawing a picture, music lyrics, or your favorite poem.
We all know that the holiday season can be full of merry and cheer, but also has the potential to increase anxiety and stress. Follow these four things to maintain your eating disorder recovery. Remember your eating disorder does not take a holiday break and your recovery doesn’t either.
Full Recovery is possible!
Serenity Always,
Meredith
